page TWO
'I already told you. Not paying attention, Watson?'
'Tell me again,' he said, 'What were her exact words? And don't call me Watson!'
'Sorry, Professor. She said "Galactic Brotherhood" and "Space Brothers". Then you came back and she clammed up. So that's why we're here! Aliens in California! But why are there aliens in California?'
'Now, Ace, how should I know?” He stopped, seeing something. Grinning, he pointed his umbrella. 'What's that they say in the movies?'
Around the corner moved a vision of eccentric opulence, a bizarre fusion of classic Detroit engineering and the artistic design of a frenzied six-year-old. It was a huge, black Cadillac. Every surface, even the tinted windows, was covered by a mad scattering of stars and planets, every single one with a tiny name painted below. A double line of little flags of alien worlds gently rustled along the bonnet, top and the huge fins on the boot. Most striking of all, though, on the top it was crowned by a clear, lit-up model of a flying saucer. I heard the 'Blue Danube' in my head as it sedately steamed past, then realised it wasn't in my head, but coming from the Space Cadillac.
Wow. Just wow. I grinned back at the Professor. 'Follow that
car?'
I knew this wasn't just another bazaar crawl! He chuckled and offered me his arm, 'Shall we?'
***
“The Physical Plane is but a poor shadow of True Reality. With its matter, its fleshly creature desires, its dimensions and boundaries, the Physical Plane is a prison for those who are Illuminated. But it is a prison with a Purpose, for here are our souls forged and tempered in the fires of pre-existence. Our enlightened behaviour here shapes and molds that which we shall become when we are born into True Life, and that enlightenment can only come with strict adherence to the outlines and procedures given us by the Immeasurable Luuna and the Benevolent Space Brothers.”
from, 'Introduction to Soul Preparation and Bodily Purity' (Illuminated Science Studies, Vol. 1. Published in 1959 by IDBSB Science Press, Mount Shasta City, CA)
***
There's a problem with stories based on real life, isn't there? In a made-up story the writer can put everything in order. The people, the stuff that happens, it all serves the story. You find out what you need to know when you need to know. Real life doesn't work like that.
For example, they haven't properly come into the story yet but they're the key to the whole thing, in a way, so I should confirm that the mountain looming above actually was full of Lemurians, keenly observing as events unfolded below.
***
There's a weird moment of disconnect when you step over the TARDIS threshold. From the outside, you open a wooden door and see darkness. One step, and you're walking through a big mechanical vault door into the console room. From the other side, you step past the big door into darkness and see the wooden door just ahead. But that one step? You feel it, every time, like you've spanned a kilometre wide canyon. But it's more than the sensation of moving; it's the feeling that you've just crossed the line between reality and fantasy. The Professor says it's a security measure and swears he'll disconnect it some day. I think he just likes the sensation.
I bring this up because it's exactly how I felt when we stepped into the temple of the Illuminated Disciples of the Benevolent Space Brothers. Outside, a bleakly lit mountain town smelling of petrol fumes and fir trees. Inside, a whole other world, untouched by the one outside. Or reality, for that matter.
It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, then I saw it. Then it took a moment for my mind to adjust. It was tacky. It was beautiful. It was hard to take in. Golden stars were on every surface. Set in the pink marble floor, on the red columns lining the walls and on the blue curtains behind them. A mobile of the solar system, complete with a little flying saucer, hung from a purple dome, lit by little bulbs that reflected on the shiny black marble circle beneath.
Soft, tinkly music drifted from hidden speakers.
It smelled of incense and disinfectant, and there were cardboard turkeys and puritans taped to every available surface.
A tall step ladder was set up beneath the dome. A lady in an ornate robe was at the top, screwing a bulb into the sky, humming along to the Muzak, engrossed in her task.
The Doctor looked around and frowned. 'Humans!' he said, 'always looking up to see where they should stand!'
The lady heard him and looked down.
'Oh!' she said, 'I didn't see you there. Have you been helped?'
We approached as she reached to screw in another star. 'I'll be right with you,' she said, her voice echoing slightly in the open space.
She looked familiar, this lady, and it took only a closer look at her face to place her. This had to be Peace's elder sister, or maybe her mother. She looked too young for that, though. Distracted by these thoughts, I barely registered that the Professor was suddenly moving ahead quickly. I heard the crack! of snapping wood and saw the ladder spin and lean. The lady squeaked and grasped the only thing within reach – the little model flying saucer. The ladder crashed to the floor, the Professor adroitly dodging it as he positioned himself beneath her.
She gently spun there, twenty feet up, turning her head to address us as we rotated into view.
'Don't worry! We'll save you!' I said, all heroic, looking for something to help.
The Professor doffed his hat. 'Hello!', he called up, 'I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Ace. I wonder if we could have a moment of your time?'
I swear, she stopped spinning right then. The Professor blushed and averted his eyes.
'Hello, Doctor. Hello, Ace. I'm Sally Spenser, High Priestess of the I.D.B.S.B. A bit too high for comfort at the moment, ha! Little help here, please?'
The Professor was telling her to just let go and let him catch her, a suggestion she was not amenable to, as he wasn't even looking at her (I realised later he could see up her robe) and was certainly not strong enough to catch her by himself.
It didn't matter. Ace was on it. I yanked a curtain from the wall, exposing cheap cinder block behind. When I got back he was casually telling her we'd met Peace.
'Grab hold this end,' I told him, 'Tight!'
'Peace is her daughter,' he told me, and as we stretched the curtain the wire holding the little saucer that was holding Sally snapped.
***
I reach frozen Lake Helen, over three thousand meters in the sky, after hours of trudging up and across loose slopes and patches of ice and stone. It's a relief to see a flat surface. My legs are aching. I take a short break, massage the cramps from my calves, and study the summit.
Something up there sparkles.
***
Now we were sitting in Sally's office and I was listening to
her and the Professor talk about mysticism and outer space (You didn't skip the
cut & paste articles, did you? They'll fill in the blanks for you. There's
another one coming; it's pretty long but I've divided it up into chunks). Her
escape from certain injury or death was forgotten as soon as the Professor
introduced us as spiritual seekers on pilgrimage.
So they nattered on like old friends about souls and Space Brothers as I flipped through pamphlets ('Seeker! Is Your Soul LOST In SPACE?') , sipped an apple juice (wishing it was another of those Mountain Dew drinks I'd gotten from the machine at the hotel) and wondered why the Professor hadn't pointed out that the ladder leg had clearly been cut. He's playing a game, I thought. There's some connection between the aliens, the temple, Peace and Sally. Maybe the aliens were coming to Shasta, joining the temple, and slowly disposing of the humans? If the attempt on her life had failed, would a duplicate Sally soon be running things here? What better place for alien invaders to hide, here where they wouldn't be taken seriously? It made perfect sense.
'Excuse me Professor, Mrs. Spenser?' I said. ' I'd like to stretch my legs, okay?'
The Doctor dismissed me. 'Go ahead, Ace. I'll see you tonight.'
'And I'll see you tomorrow at dinner,' said Sally, 'if you'd accept my invitation. No one should spend Thanksgiving without turkey and stuffing.'
'Not only do we accept, gratefully,' said the Doctor, ' I'll do you one better. I'd very much enjoy helping you prepare. I'm quite the wizard in the kitchen, as Ace can attest.'
It was news to me. 'Yeah, that sounds great. You. Cooking. Can't wait for that.'
Sally beamed. 'It's settled then! Splendid! Peace is off work at five, dear, if you need company.'
'Is it okay if I look around the temple 'til then? It's awfully interesting.'
'It's a study hall, dear, but yes you may. I'm afraid it's nearly empty at the moment, though, with the holidays. Just be careful not to intrude on anyone's meditation, and remember that girls have to stay on the first floor. Only boys are allowed upstairs.'
I saw the Professor's ears twitch. 'Oh, really?' he said, 'How interesting... why is that?'
Dead serious, she said, 'Because only men can be enlightened. We don't serve the Illuminated Space Sisters, after all, do we? Only men may share in the cosmic communion.'
'But you're the high priestess!' I said, 'How can you be high priestess if you aren't enlightened? That's stupid!'
'It is not stupid, young lady! I am the keeper of the archives, guardian of the lore and minister to the life-worn! My inability to physically share in the cosmic mysteries does not lessen my role in the purpose of the Brotherhood!'
'So you have to keep house just because you don't have a...'
The Professor stopped me. 'Well, Ace, I'm sure it's not 'stupid'... There's probably a very reasonable explanation... Bio-vibrations keyed to a specific genetic template, I'm guessing...' He turned in his chair and gave me that squint that said "go sniff around", 'Maybe someone who's been upstairs can explain?'
Sally looked sincerely distressed. 'I know it sounds sexist, dear. I thought the same thing. Peace thought the same thing. But she accepts it now, and when she's high priestess she'll enforce it just as I do.'
Then she shared a wink, 'Besides, who says some women aren't enlightened already? You called me Mrs. Spenser, but I've never been married. I'm Miss Spenser, and happy to be.'
***
Memories are piling up; I can't find my rhythm. Every rock I dislodge bounces and scurries to mix with its brothers down slope. I envy them, it's so easy to just roll. It would be a relief to give up and follow them down below. But I won't. I'm hearing my name more often, no longer merged with the wind but carried upon it.
An hour ago, the object in my backpack played an eerie fanfare and began humming. I wonder if it knows where we're going.
***
I won't bother describing the Order's temple much further. Just picture a posh temple out front, offices, libraries and dorms hidden behind in a plain three-story building, and you've got it. Only the temple's fancy. Once you're past the gilt and marble out front it's all fake wood panelling, venetian blinds and shag carpet, like a middle-class American's basement rec room. I even saw a ping-pong table.
Most rec rooms lack a forbidden third floor, so of course that's where Ace headed. I easily found the stairs and gained the second floor but that's where my trespassing ended. I walked the central hall twice, checking each door, but every one was locked. They were helpfully labelled – meditation room Vitus Alpha Andromeda, residence hall Saturn, Janitor, etc. – but none said, 'this way to the secret inner sanctum'. There also seemed to be no one else up here. It was dead quiet except for the tinkly Muzak. The third floor, by its inaccessibility, seemed to lay dangerously heavy overhead. I felt like it was watching me.
Slightly bothered, I went back down where it didn't seem as haunted. The Professor and Sally were laughing like old mates from behind her closed door. I was mildly creeped out by the realisation that, despite everything, the Professor was still a bloke and enjoying a chat with a pretty woman, so my thoughts and I resolutely moved on.
I lingered outside the next office. Someone answered the phone and I heard a rapid murmuring, like a used car salesman underwater, but I couldn't make out anything. The sign on the door read 'Jack Kraft – Exalted Consort'. Nice work if you can get it.
The next office simply said, 'Luuna'. According to the pamphlets in Sally's office, this was the Ascended Space Pontiff, the Immeasurable Luuna. She who knew, by cosmic revelation, the innermost workings of galactic society and the human soul. Her real name, I later learned, was Gladys Kraft and Jack Kraft was her husband. More on them in a sec.
I had a mad impulse and was about to knock when I heard a vacuum cleaner start. Make friends with the staff, I thought. Good idea. So I left Luuna to the universe and went to find the janitor.
***
"The automobile accident that nearly claimed Gladys Kraft's life is officially still unexplained. The fledgling California Highway Patrol reported Mrs. Kraft losing control of her vehicle on a straight stretch of Highway 5. She has not elaborated on the circumstances that led to the accident. She was discovered five hours later, twenty yards from the crash site. Though apparently uninjured she was in a deep coma that persisted for three months. When she awoke she was no longer Gladys Kraft, housewife, but the Immeasurable Luuna, envoy of the Benevolent Space Brothers.
Mysteries remain. What led Gladys to quietly leave her sleeping husband at such an early hour? How did she come to be found twenty yards from the accident when there was no evidence of her being thrown from the car? Given her mild injuries, why did she become comatose? Most of all, why does she now claim to represent an interstellar society in all human affairs?"